Founders’ Park.  The Home Groaners wanted to put parking over here. They have never rescinded that idea.  Paul Goldfinger photograph. Blogfinger.net © 2019.  Click to enlarge.

By Paul Goldfinger,  Editor Blogfinger.net

The Coaster must have been desperate to publish a “news “report about the OG/CMA  Parking Study.  They would rather post such a flimsy article than to get through another week without any OG news. Sometimes it’s better to say nothing.

This report introduces a new spokesman for the CMA named Jonathan Jaffe who gave the interview to the Coastericans.  Was this his audition?

He must have graduated from the Gibberish School.   This article is found on page 26 of the Sept. 24 issue.  That is the lowest possible news placement in this week’s  Coaster–“The Award Winning Weekly.”  It even came after the news that the Neptune City Republican Bocce Tournament was a big success.

As you all know, the CMA has commissioned a parking study by a “national firm” which is supposed to have a report “this fall.”

So far, no report has been released.

But, despite having  no information as to the study results,  the Chamber of Commercials organized a “comment session.”  This session  was to be “the public comment phase of the parking survey.”   So, we have the Chamber discussing a study which has not yet been completed.

However, according to the Coaster, this “public meeting was attended only by OG businesses.”  But that’s OK because “comments from other segments of the community are planned for the near future.”  Which “community” is the CMA talking about?

The Coaster says that “comment sessions will reflect past and current experiences with the parking situation.”  Really?  Haven’t we had enough of that already?  Even Blogfinger is getting sick of the topic.

So when will the report be released and when will the public get to interact with it?   These important questions went unanswered in this “breaking news” article on page 26.

The Coaster also made a brilliant observation which reveals why they are the preeminent news source for this region. It said, “Parking shortages in Ocean Grove have been a long-standing problem.”

And they concluded with:  “The goal of the study is to provide recommendations for the development of potential parking programs and policies of the type and magnitude to meet the diverse parking requirements of Ocean Grove.”

Fake news and gibberish once again.

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN: No parking talk in these lyrics.