It’s easier to fly than to find parking in this town!   Sue Gioulis cartoon for BF

By Paul Goldfinger, Editor at Blogfinger.net  We have posted more articles about OG parking than any media source in America. We know that some of you  (and we) are sick of it, but here’s the news:

Tonight, October  8, a ZOOM meeting was held, called by the CMA. When we first heard about it, it wasn’t clear what it was all about.  Some of us though that the parking consultants hired by the CMA would present their plan. But that’s not what happened.

The meeting was run by two CMA officials and was attended by two parking consultants.  About 65 Grovers showed up in their little boxes.  There were a few HOA people, and the BPA chief was there.  So that’s the cast of characters.

It turns out that the consultants, who have been parking themselves in the Grove for the last 6 months, had no plan. Instead they were on a sort of listening tour, designed to hear  Grover gripes and they heard quite a bit, but most of it was not news to us.

Out of the 65 attendees, about a dozen got to speak.   The parking mavens listened and asked questions. The CMA folks said nothing, and no Neptuner elected officials showed up.

But the consultants not only had no plan, but, as we predicted, one will never be agreed upon.  They admitted that Ocean Grove was such a peculiar place, with so many obstacles, that even they didn’t know what to do. They have never seen anything like it. They looked defeated, and Pres. Badger lost his smile.

I did hear some interesting information from our neighbors–here is a semi-colon storm:  Most seemed to like the idea of permits, but many want to pay little or nothing for one; a shuttle based outside the gates wouldn’t help the residents; there is no “advocacy” in town which represents the interests of tax paying residents; many citizens don’t/can’t  move their cars on busy weekends; one guy wants to feel sorry for the Asbury workers who park in our neighborhoods  (not our problem said the consultant;)

The parking problems extend year-round for some; neighbors may turn on each other over parking; Joan Venezia said that the problems of homeowners should be solved before worrying about “visitors;”  Asbury Park parkers cause us problems all year round, not just in season; parking has gotten worse over the last 15 years;

OG pays 44% of all Neptune taxes; some visitors “can’t park,” so Grovers park for them; parking problems may deter potential buyers from coming here; North End will exacerbate the problem.  And I would add that some citizens leave the Grove because of parking.

And there was more, but who expected that this ZOOM would be a Grovarian Gripers session to benefit the consultants as they search for the impossible dream.  Most of us are familiar with the fundamentals of OG’s parking troubles—the ZOOM didn’t add much.

But no one at the ZOOM mentioned the heart of darkness which we have been talking about on Blogfinger for years:

a.  The math is that there often are more cars than spaces. And you can reshuffle the chairs on the Titanic deck, but you can’t produce more spaces.  And tricks like adding parking meters may only help a little.

b.  If it weren’t for the excessive tourism, we would be fine.  We can fix Asbury with meters. Shut down the mega-events and shift gears to small town America: yard sales, art shows, children’s events, Wiffle Ball tournaments, poetry readings, Porchfest music as in A. Park, etc.

c.  The CMA dominates the Grove and they are still growing.  They are part of an evolving residential community and they need to downsize to make room for the rest of us.

d. The consultant and the BPA and the CMA  will never achieve their stated goal of satisfying everyone.

e. This town needs to be redesigned and reaffirmed to be what the Master Plan originally hoped for. But who’s got the courage to do that?

And then there is the dream: secession.

BRIAN STOKES MITCHELL: