Blogfinger

Warrington fire March 3, 2017.

4 houses being erected at the Whitfield site. Maybe the chances of a voracious fire might be reduced if they weren’t built so damn close together. Stephen Goldfinger /Blogfinger photo 2017. ©

On May 3, 2017, the Asbury Park Press published an article asking when we would know the cause of the Warrington fire of March 3, 2017.  They said that the fire “remains  under investigation after over two months.”   Several agencies are involved including the Federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms. According to the Monmouth County Prosecutors Office spokeswoman, “The fire remains under investigation and as soon as a more information (sic) is available it will be released. ”

The APP interviewed Barbara Burns, President of the OGHOA. Her contribution was to say that she knows nothing. “I have asked that we be kept apprised of when we might expect a report on that investigation. We really haven’t got any kind of updates,” said Burns.

OK, the HOA is right on top of things.  And why was she interviewed?  It’s not exactly fake news—it’s more like no news.

The APP’s motto should be, “All the news that’s not news at all.”

The reporter then went to Mayor Brantley to get an answer to the question.  After all, he was the one who announced at a recent township meeting that the fire was intentionally set, either by an arsonist or a sloppy vagrant with an “accidental accelerant.” Nobody knows where he got that information. Perhaps it was leaked to him by the NY Times.

This time the Mayor tried to answer the question this way:   “Any information regarding the fire investigation would have to be released by the Monmouth County Prosecutor’s Office.”   Do you think someone got to him after his last public revelation?

“Until they’re finished we won’t know anything.” Brantley told the Press. “We hear the investigation is still ongoing, that’s the only information we have.  It’s frustrating whenever the County investigates anything they take their time. We like to know things sooner than later, but we don’t get it until they’re finished.”

OK , some more useless information in the Press from its OG sources. But wait—there is more from the APP and its Grovarian interviewees:

The APP went on:  “Meanwhile the township is taking several measures in Ocean Grove that Brantley  said were not a direct response to the fires, but could have an ‘additional benefit’  of helping to prevent them, he said.”

“Brantley said the township has put out bids for a historic preservation architect and a historic preservation attorney to help change preservation ‘guidelines into standards,’ Brantley said.”

“Ocean Grove was placed on the National Register of Historic Places in 1976. It has a population of about 3,000, but the community sees a surge of visitors during the summer tourist season according to Burns. In addition to the historic wooden homes, the community is also renowned for the its tent dwellings. (sic.)”

“Brantley said the township would not be proposing any new regulation measures in Ocean Grove until after those positions are filled and recommendations are made. Brantley said that the positions would not be full-time, permanent employees. ”

At last, the Mayor has explained to us how the township would prevent future fires.  He would do that by changing the HPC guidelines into ‘standards.’

So that’s what the guidelines scandal is all about!  Why would the HPC be hiding under their beds instead of explaining to  Grovers how new guideline or standards would help them prevent fires?

It seems quite certain that the APP will not be receiving a Pulitzer for this reporting on the cause of the Warrington fire.  And the responses of our OG spokespersons remain fine examples of gobbledygook.

KATHRYN BAUMONT  from Alice in Wonderland: