Coconut Point Mall, Estero, Fla. Internet photo

By Paul Goldfinger,  Editor @Blogfinger.  Re-post from 2020 in Florida.

Scene:  I was on the loose by myself at the uber-upscale Coconut Point Mall in Estero, Florida. (Southwest near Naples.)  First stop was the Apple Store.  In front of the store were two young employees wearing Apple T shirts, but anything goes in footwear.  One guy had thongs.  The other guy had shorts and a strange haircut.

Peering into the store, I did not see the usual mayhem. Instead there were relatively few customers and a bunch of Apple sales and tech people.   I got in line and was given an appointment inside.  They were dealing with the virus situation by keeping only a small number of people inside so that they wouldn’t get close to each other.  I only had to wait about 20 minutes in front of the store.

The salesman who greeted me inside introduced himself, so I reflexively held out my hand, which he wordlessly ignored.  OK—I get it, but why not a word of explanation?

When I was done there I bypassed Tommy Bahama and, reluctantly,  Victoria’s Secret,  and headed for Barnes and Noble to use their restroom.  A young woman was smoking a cigarette outside:

Me:  Can you please direct me to the restrooms?

She:  Speaking in a mild accent which indicated eastern Europe—Poland or Russia.   “Go in this door and turn left.  It’s under that big sign that says ‘of men and mice.'”

Me: Thanking her.  The men and mice reference convinced me that she was an immigrant.

Me:  In the restroom was one other man, and we were washing our hands. He got done first but couldn’t get a towel out of the dispenser.  He then did something that startled me.  He began dismantling the dispenser, opening it up to reveal a roll of towels. “Yikes, I thought; he is going to fix the freaking machine.”  Instead he just unrolled and tore a piece of paper and stepped aside, leaving me to follow his lead, which I did. It’s good to have a man around the house.

Next I headed to the B & N coffee shop:

At the coffee shop:  A young lady, also with an eastern European accent greeted me with a big smile. “Can I help you?”  she asked.

Me:  I’d like a medium latte and an apple pastry, heated and cut in half.  I’ll have it here.  (I intended to bring half home to Eileen.)

She, pausing for a moment:  “Is this for one person or two persons?”   I was initially bewildered by the question.

Me:  “Uh, well, it’s for one person, but it could be for two if I get lucky.”

She:  Laughed, and I thought if she’s an immigrant, then she wouldn’t get my joke, but she did.   Isn’t it great that a person who comes here from another country, is working in Barnes and Noble, and tries to do her job as perfectly as possible would also get my joke?  ”

You see, said she, “If it were two people, I would wrap the halves separately.”

She:  A few minutes later she handed me my coffee and my heated pastry and said, “Look, I timed this perfectly.”

Me:  “I appreciate that.”   (And, I thought,  thank God for women.)

SOUTH PACIFIC: