Ocean Grove. Undated. Paul Goldfinger photo ©
By Paul Goldfinger, Editor (Blogfinger re-post from 2010.)
I recently interviewed a gentleman whose family, and whose wife’s family, go back five generations in the Grove. During our conversation, I referred to him as an “old-timer” in town. He asked me, “How long have you been here?”
“Since 1998,” I replied.
“Well then,” he said, “you are also an old-timer.”
His remark startled me a bit, because this town, with its history, seems like the kind of place where you have to go back quite a ways to be an old-timer, and I somehow could not consider myself in the same old-timer category that he was in. Maybe I am a new old-timer.
It reminded me of a conversation I had with my friend John Wiarda, who was a helicopter gunner in Vietnam. I was in the Navy then, but I fought the battle of Virginia Beach as a state-side Navy doctor. John said that I was as much a war veteran as he was, but I never really believed him.
So who decides who we are? Do we decide to define ourselves, or do others? I always thought that each of us should decide who we are, and it is best for others to respect that decision.
As for Ocean Grove, with its 140 year old history, if my new five-generation Grover friend wants to call me an old-timer, then I will not protest, but I live in a house that is about 130 years old, so I have perspective and, between you and me, I like the idea that he’s the old timer and I’m the newcomer.
JESSICA MOLASKEY from her album Pentimento
You are an Old Timer somewhere Paul. Might as well be Ocean Grove. 🙂
Seems to me that the oldtimer/newcomer dividing line is pretty clear. Those who lived here when there were no cars on Sunday are the oldtimers even if they were babies then. The newcomers arrived after June of 1979, possibly in a car on a Sunday. I’m a 4th generation Grover who cherishes the memory of
Saturday night dates that ended before midnight so the guy didn’t have to walk his Ocean Grove girlfriend home, ballgames in the street until the police would come and tell us to break it up, and walks to Neptune on Sunday to pick up the Press. And, I love the newcomers and the diversity they have brought to this wonderful town. Together, we just keep getting better.
I thought “Perception is everything?” (I really don’t agree, but that’s what I’ve always heard).
Paul, you are lucky to have a nice neighbor. When we bought our first home here in 1992 I spent many hours in the front yard working in the garden. Two local woman walked by quite often on their way to the beach. Over time we struck up a nice conversation which led to how we came to know Ocean Grove and how we came to be here. Much to my delight I told them I had been born here just down the block on Embury Ave some 60 years ago and summered on Webb Ave around the corner. They both seemed very upset that I had been here longer than either of them and for years they walked on the other side of the street.
Seems some folks just feel they are “entitled” as they have been here longer that anyone else.
I do believe the town is changing and hopefully making people feel more welcome. So much better to welcome than to shun. I know I am happy with our neighbors, so I feel lucky.
Ted
Thank you for your service!