By Paul Goldfinger
Heading south on the way to Florida, one can learn a few things by reading the signs. There is a doctor who has multiple billboards that say “no scalpel, no needle vasectomy.” I was fascinated by that and I tried to imagine how it is done. Was it a magic trick? Did it involve some kind of ray gun? Does the doctor put on a top hat and mask, assisted by a nurse in a tutu and then they dance around the OR? Does he wave his cane and then, after a puff of smoke, does the patient jump off the table and head to a bar for a “hook-up?”
The idea reminded me of the Woody Allen movie “Everyone Says I Love You” where a patient, bandaged from head to toe, leaps off the table and does acrobatics down the hall.
But then I thought of a different musical scenario. What if the patient has the procedure to surprise his wife. He gets home and they discover he’s had a side effect: he has developed a very high voice. His wife bursts into tears. He feels awful, so he sings her this song: