Ocean Grove Flea Market. . Jean Bredin of Blogfinger.net looks into the Grovarian mirror. Did she see a revolution? Click to enlarge.
By Paul Goldfinger, Editor @blogfinger. Re-Post
On January 4, 2014, Blogfinger received a comment from Ken Buckley, currently an HOA Trustee. He said, “Paul, I can see an interesting POLL QUESTION for your readers:
Where would you prefer to live: Ocean Grove or Spring Lake?”
Hmmmm. Did good old Ken forsee today’s news?
From the Dept. of Fake News at Blogfinger.net:
An ad hoc committee of Ocean Grovers has announced that the Grovarian Village called “the Grove” will secede from the infernal and unfair association with Neptuners at the Mother Ship who have repeatedly shown their double dealing, favoritism, taxation without representation, and indifference when it comes to the “Historic District” of Ocean Grove. This movement is in keeping with legislative efforts in Trenton to encourage consolidation of like-minded communities.
“We have had it” said Fernwood Trollop, the revolutionary-in-charge of this movement. He said, “Not only are we sick and tired of all the crap, but we are also fed up, disgusted, disoriented, and we have had enough!”
This Sunday, a demonstration will be held at the entrance to town on Main Avenue, where Trollop and his angry crew will rebuild the gates and will only admit those who sign our Declaration of Independence which begins with a preamble:
“We the people of Ocean Grove, in order to get our town back from exploiters, will secede from Neptune Township to insure domestic tranquility, promote the general welfare, establish fair and honest local government for and by the people, and secure the blessings of liberty to all our citizens, do ordain and establish a merger, a more perfect union, between us and the fair Irishmen of Spring Lake.”
“We promise our citizens parking permits, friends with benefits, low taxes, and fine expensive bar mitzvahs for all.”
After the gates demonstration, 500 Grovers will go to Wesley Lake to protest by throwing tea bags into the polluted water.
Trollop promises to establish a legal fund which everyone can contribute to in order to make this happen, even if we have to take it to the Supreme Court. Gorsuch will help us.
*This quote is from the US Declaration of Independence when Thomas Jefferson said this while whispering in the ear of Zelig, played by Woody Allen. Later Groucho stole the line.
The movement’s hero is the fearless knight Sir Lancelot. The Lancelot song is from Spamalot:
Too bad it was Fake News, I was getting so excited. Perhaps from Blogfinger to God’s ear and the hands of the CMA.
No offense but we have enough problems of our own.
Resident of Spring Lake.
Editor’s note: Garmain: Thanks for the comment, but you could use some diversity over there, and we could use some of your parking spaces and a few caring politicians. I bought an Irish hat on 3rd Avenue which I will wear at our seder. We don’t have hats like that in the Grove, but we could loan you some yarmulkas.
I also like some of your street names like Vroom Avenue. We’ll exchange Mt. Pisgah for Vroom. Can I speed in my Blogmobile on Vroom?
Loved the Spring Lake article. Actually not a bad idea.
Ocean Grove, Bradley Beach, Avon-By-The-Sea and Neptune City should merge, and Ocean Grove should secede from Vampire Neptune.
These four communities have common goals and interests, and will offer one another equality of tax use as well as mutual support. It can be done. Neptune loves our tax money but ignores the lake. And they actually get PAID for being the Wesley Lake Commission. No-show jobs! Time to go.
If you want to understand how much Neptune wants to help Ocean Grove just look at the neglect of Wesley Lake. They could not even lift a finger to get sufficient Sandy funds to dredge and improve drainage into the sea! So when the next storm comes, we will still have that drainage system by the power plant that is as old as the power plant.