By Paul Goldfinger, Editor @Blogfinger (reposted from 11/29/13)
At Wegmans this morning they were already playing Christmas music. Ironically, they call today “Black Friday”–an odd name for a day that should still be basking in the glow of a happy, happy, merry, merry holiday. An employee that I barely know breezed by and said, “Happy Hanukkah.” I didn’t have time to respond, but I thought, why is she wishing me happy anything?— I don’t really know her. I was already a bit numb from so many people in stores and elsewhere saying, “Happy Thanksgiving.” What’s the point? No amount of good wishes would have any impact on the happiness of my Thanksgiving. And then you have to say “Happy Thanksgiving” back, even though I don’t care about their Thanksgiving. What a drag.
When I was in practice, patients would come in and wish me a “Happy Hanukkah.” So I would wish them a “Merry Christmas,” but these greetings always struck me as awkward. For one thing, what makes them think I’m Jewish? I never told them. Maybe I’m a Moroccan Muslim. I would prefer that they wish me a “Merry Christmas” so that I can fit right in. Then I won’t have to answer questions like, “Is it the fourth or fifth night now?” I seldom know exactly what night it is. Besides, I know they think that Hanukkah is the Jewish Christmas, and I wish I could explain that it is not even close. In my house, when I was a kid, we said a blessing, lit the candles and ate. That was it. And just one present, if I was lucky.
So I went up to the café in Wegmans and sat down to have coffee and a bagel and fiddle around with my iPad. I’m wearing earphones, so I didn’t hear the man come up to me. When I sensed his presence, I looked up and there is a gentleman with whom I sometimes chat at Wegmans. He said that he finds all these merry, merry, happy, happy greetings to be a bit disturbing, because so many people are suffering in the world. He mentioned the Central African Republic where, he said, “genocide” was occurring and also Syria, a place where he spent two years in the past. There they are having death, destruction and a huge refugee problem.
I suggested to him that perhaps Americans are a bit delusional because they don’t know about such places. I never heard of the Central African Republic, so he told me that it used to be a French colony. I always learn stuff at Wegmans. Today I found out that the mashed potatoes are in the dairy department. Go figure!
OK, I know, you all think I’m a curmudgeon, or something else. But we all have our pet peeves. Do you have any pet peeves as it pertains to the happy, happy, merry, merry “holiday season?”
And that’s another darn thing: Say “Merry Christmas” and not “Happy Holiday.” We’re all big boys; even big girls are big boys these days. Americans can handle the possibility of being insulted. Let’s all jettison some piece of political correctness this year. Let’s lighten up this happy, happy, merry, merry season and wish everybody a new greeting. Try something unexpected like, “Ain’t that somethin’?”
And if you see me, wish me a “Merry Christmas.” You’ll find me wandering around the Wegmans lot looking for my bloody car.
THE DIMMER TWINS (“True Blue Aussie Christmas album”)
Tom: In my cardiology group there were 50% Jewish doctors and 50% Christian. The percent will vary depending on geography. Today,that number is dropping across the board as more physicians of Indian, Korean and Chinese heritage become part of the physician landscape. If you look at enrollments in prestige colleges and medical schools, you see the same sort of phenomenon.
When I grew up, only 5% of my high school class was Jewish—-that would be 3 boys and 3 girls, so it was the Christian culture 24/7 in that small New Jersey town. In my medical school class, there were about 10% Jews and a few Asians. But if you went to med school at Albert Einstein or Columbia or NYU, the numbers would have been quite different.
The other aspect, which I didn’t mention, is that if you are a minority religion, you may find that being identified by your religion with seasonal greetings is a fairly personal and maybe intrusive or awkward phenomenon. The issue actually becomes even more complex as you dig into it.
Today, many young people don’t even identify with a religion—multiculturalism and anti-religious feelings abound—— so I have no idea how the “seasons greetings” phenomenon works on campuses these days.
You may recall the Seinfeld episode where “Festivus for the rest of us” was proposed as a holiday/greeting that is all inclusive.
Paul, Merry Christmas to you! My preferred greeting this time of year and now I know – yours too. But, if I introduced you to 100 Dr. Goldfingers in the NY area I bet 99 would be Jewish so Happy Hanukah would usually be a safe guess.
I really don’t mind the other variations, Happy Holidays, Peace on Earth, etc. if coming from an individual and said with good intentions. Let people offer good wishes in a way that they are comfortable.
One exception would be years ago from my neighbor. Our kids grew up together and we shared many holidays together both Christian, Jewish and secular. One year they came for breakfast on Christmas morning, he was feeling grumpy I guess and wished us a Happy Thursday! Made me and Pegi so mad. A week later we went to their house for New Years Day and I wished him a Happy Feast of the Circumcision. Touche!
Sally: Maybe McAfee considers fat grams to be “potentially dangerous.” But our dinner did not have much in the way of saturated fat: green peas had a tiny amount of butter. The gravy was fat free. And turkey (white meat) is low in fat. The stuffing was made with vegetables and a small amount of veg. oil. And, of course, the cranberry sauce made from fresh cranberries from the Pine Barrens of NJ.
But among the desserts there was an excellent small chocolate cream pie from Ocean Grove’s “All You Need is Cake” (for everyone to taste.) The main dessert was a low fat homemade apple-pear-cranberry crisp (the crumbs on top were made with butter)–it was served right out of the oven and topped with Wegmans “premium” ice cream in three different flavors. But what the hey—it’s Thanksgiving.
And you are right–those parking lots are dangerous. You have to drive and walk defensively.——Paul
Sally: You know how it is–the kids come home for a holiday, and there are certain foods that they consider mandatory. In the case of my number two son, he has to have mashed potatoes with his turkey (in addition to Eileen’s mashed sweet potatoes with spices and orange zest, topped with melted marshmallows that others expect.)
So I had to get the mashed potatoes and she hoped that no one will ask if she made them herself—no one asked. But thanks for the advice–you are right.—Paul
McAfee is sending a warning to my laptop about your post that “We tested this page and blocked content that comes from potentially dangerous or suspicious sites….” Perhaps, from the suspicous Wegman’s parking lot, not to be confused with the insane Neptune ShopRite parking lot.
Merry Christmas! And skip the mashed potatoes.
Totally agree that it has to be Merry Christmas. When I arrived in America from England in 1995 we lived in Pittsburgh, PA, and Christmas was called “The Sparkle Season” and the tree was called a “Holiday Tree” so as not to offend anyone. I thought I had landed on another planet!
December 25 is Christmas Day, so how can anyone be offended if you wish them Merry Christmas? And to me a “holiday” is when you don’t go to work and sit on the beach for a week. So don’t wish me happy holidays!!! Vacation is a word that is still new to my vocabulary even after 18 years.
Now that you asked Paul….My pet peeve, “Peace on Earth”. Like wishing for it during the holiday season might make it happen.