By Paul Goldfinger, Editor @blogfinger
On January 4, 2014, Blogfinger received a comment from Ken Buckley, currently an HOA Trustee. He said, “Paul, I can see an interesting POLL QUESTION for your readers,
Where would you prefer to live: Ocean Grove or Spring Lake?”
Hmmmm. Did good old Ken forsee today’s news?
From the Dept. of Fake News at Blogfinger.net:
An ad hoc committee of Ocean Grovers has announced that the Grovarian Village called “the Grove” will secede from the infernal and unfair association with the Neptuners at the Mother Ship who have repeatedly shown their double dealing, favoritism, taxation without representation, and indifference when it comes to the “Historic District” of Ocean Grove. This movement is in keeping with legislative efforts in Trenton to encourage consolidation of like-minded communities..
“We have had it” said Fernwood Trollop, the revolutionary-in-charge of this movement. He said “Not only are we sick and tired of all the crap, but we are also fed up, disgusted, disoriented, and we have had enough!”
This Sunday, a demonstration will be held at the entrance to town on Main Avenue, where Trollop and his angry crew will rebuild the gates and will only admit those who sign our Declaration of Independence which begins with a preamble:
“We the people of Ocean Grove, in order to get our town back from exploiters, will secede from Neptune Township to insure domestic tranquility, promote the general welfare, establish fair and honest local government for and by the people, and secure the blessings of liberty to all our citizens, do ordain and establish a merger between us and the fair Irishmen of Spring Lake.
“We promise our citizens parking permits, friends with benefits, low taxes, and fine, expensive bar mitzvahs for all.”
After the gates demonstration, 500 Grovers will go to Wesley Lake to protest by throwing tea bags into the polluted water.
Trollop promises to establish a legal fund which everyone can contribute to in order to make this happen, even if we have to take it to the Supreme Court. Gorsuch will help us.
*This quote is from the US Declaration of Independence when Thomas Jefferson said this while whispering in the ear of Zelig, played by Woody Allen. Later Groucho stole the line.
The movement’s hero is the fearless knight Sir Lancelot. The Lancelot song is from Spamalot: