Ocean Grove, NJ. Paul Goldfinger snow action shot. Take a picture while the town still looks Victorian. ©
By Paul Goldfinger, Editor @Blogfinger.net
March 14, 2017
From the Blogfinger Department of Faux News we bring you the latest weather update:
Despite predictions that the Grove would experience only wind, rain and cold, an unexpected Nor’easter dropped 2 feet of white stuff on Ocean Grove. Last night the town received a snow emergency phone message that demanded that all residents park their cars on the correct side of the street. It was a problem, because many citizens don’t know north from south, or east from west. And they don’t know if the signs mean park here or don’t park here. The message also demanded that Grovers learn where to put the apostrophe in “nor’easter.”
This was the biggest snow storm of the season, and there were snowball fights and snowmen and snow-women all over. The snowmen carried brooms while the snow-women carried signs. It was hard to tell the genders of the snow people since none had genitalia, but a good clue is that snow-women have hyphens, while snowmen do not. And which bathrooms should the snow people use?
The Township promised the HOA that anyone who didn’t shovel would pay a fine. The township code people went out early, handing out violation notices to Grovarians. One of them told Blogfinger that only the houses near Ken Buckley received tickets. He’s the HOA pioneer who persuaded the Township that these fines would prevent falls after a snow storm.
There’s nothing like a white Purim, although I prefer a prune Purim. And, regarding March 14, it has been a winter tradition since 44 BC to celebrate on the day before Julius Caesar was assassinated by members of Rome’s Township Committee.
And what ever happened to Bill Bailey? We need him to shovel Ken Buckley’s sidewalk:
LOUIS ARMSTRONG WITH THE FIVE PENNIES
Isn’t it interesting how the Township is so concerned, along with the HOA, about sidewalk snow shoveling, but where are they when land use laws are being broken in ways that can threaten our historic designations, home values and lifestyles? For those infractions, the Township is MIA.
The sidewalks in the Grove could render anyone, anytime, for any reason,
flat on their back any time of the year. It’s part of the mystique of Stoke’s Village.
Last winter, both my husband and I fell on unshoveled Ocean Grove sidewalks, which we attribute to ice hidden beneath a light coating of fresh snow. While my fall wasn’t serious, my husband’s fall involved landing flat on his back and hitting his head. Fortunately, he wasn’t hurt.
Shoveling helps prevent snow and slush from turning to ice. Fellow Grovers–please be good neighbors and tend to your sidewalks, and if you can’t do this yourself, enlist a neighbor or hire someone who can help clear your sidewalk. We need clear sidewalks to get around Ocean Grove, particularly on busy streets like Broadway and Main Avenues where walking in the street is not a safe option.
Since my trash didn’t get picked up and my street didn’t get plowed do I get a tax rebate?
I thought there was a grace period of “12 hours of daylight” after the snow stops to clean your sidewalks. I’d be furious if I received a violation notice anytime today. Especially if I had every intention to clean it later in the day. Talk about trigger happy.
Per the enforcement code:
13-2 Removal of snow and ice
13-2.1 Responsibility for removal; time.
The owners and tenants of lands abutting or bordering upon the sidewalks of the public streets and highways in the township shall remove, or cause to be removed, from sidewalks in front of or bordering on their lands, all snow and ice within 12 hours of daylight after the same shall be formed or fallen thereon.
Right on Dr. Paul,
Perhaps the Township weatherman could better spend his time inspecting derelict buildings in Ocean Grove than playing amateur weatherman on the taxpayers dime.
P. Revere