Eileen and Paul hanging out with some real old timers
By Paul Goldfinger
I recently interviewed a gentleman whose family, and whose wife’s family, go back five generations in the Grove. We will do a feature about him soon. During our conversation, I referred to him as an “old timer” in town. He asked me, “How long have you been here?”
“Since 1998,” I replied.
“Well then,” he said, “you are also an old timer.”
His remark startled me a bit, because this town, with its history, seems like the kind of place where you have to go back quite a ways to be an old timer, and I somehow could not consider myself in the same old timer category that he was in. Maybe I am a new old timer.
It reminded me of a conversation I had with my friend John Wiarda, who was a helicopter gunner in Vietnam. I was in the Navy then, but I fought the battle of Virginia Beach as a state-side doctor. John said that I was as much a war veteran as he was, but I never really believed him.
So who decides who we are? Do we decide to define ourselves, or do others? I always thought that each of us should decide who we are, and it is best for others to respect that decision.
As for Ocean Grove, with its 140 year old history, if my new five-generation Grover friend wants to call me an old-timer, then I will not protest, but I live in a house that is about 130 years old, so I have perspective and, between you and me, I like the idea that he’s the old timer and I am the newcomer.
It is a simple formula. Anyone here longer then yourself is an old timer. Anyone here after yourself is a newcomer
I also tend to think of an old-time Grover as someone who was here when cars were banned on Sundays. Which certainly excludes me.
I love Mary Beth Jahn’s description of an old timer, and also how none of us can keep from telling how long our family has been in Ocean Grove. Too true!!
Personally, I think of old timers as being those of us who remember the bath houses at the South End, and how we cheered when they were finally gone.
(and, yes, also having to walk in/out on Sundays – but that was fun for kids, walking in the middle of the road.)
I’ve personally (not officially) thought of a Grove “old timer” as someone who experienced the gates closing and cars being off the streets on Saturday nights. I think there’s a lot of definitions, though, because the Grove has gone through so many stages of evolution.
One of my (personal and official) favorite parts of otherwise contentious parts of public hearings on controversial topics in Ocean Grove is what I, with all love and affection, call the Ocean Grove Pedigree Game, where everyone who is going to speak gives their name and address and then tells you how long (or recently) they and/or their family has lived in Ocean Grove. Those little vignettes are usually small moments of reprieve from a larger evening of tension.