Grovers, here’s some news you can use.
Our friends from West Philadelphia tell us the street crooks in that neighborhood have taken to stealing UPS deliveries that are left on porches.
One local resident found a way to fight back. He filled an empty UPS box with his used cat litter, sealed it up and left it unattended on his front step. Sure enough, someone stole it.
We know another guy in that same neighborhood who is worried that a burglar will climb up his rain gutter pole and get into his second story that way. So he has smeared the pole with Vaseline. However, he only put the Vaseline on a section near the top. His fantasy is that a crook will try to make the climb, reach the slippery spot and then plummet to the ground, hopefully breaking a bone or two.
I’m thinking we Grovers could learn a lot about crime fighting from our big-city friends.
– Charles Layton
MUSIC: “Honky Cat” by Elton John
How about filling a couple of whiskey bottles with urine and leaving them on the porch overnight….
Actually, I’m not sure I would do that unless you’re willing to risk having those bottles come flying back through your living room window in the middle of the night.
As far as delivery packages being ‘lifted’ from porches, if you are expecting a delivery alert your neighbors to take it in for you, or have a standard street policy of watching out for them. We do that on our little street. Be a neighbor!
Ah Elton, back when you could actually understand the words he was singing. Can barely understand a word he sings live these days. Side note: In the era of this song, he used to say if he spent more than 15 minutes writing the melody, he’d just give up on the song.
If someone steals a UPS package from your porch, all you have to do is call the sender of the package, and they will deal with the situation. Every UPS package is insured for $100.00 plus any additional insurance taken out by the sender.
Guess W. Phila experienced the level of pilfering that we currently have in OG. There is a TV show “Bait Car” in which a car is left unlocked and unattended and in a few minutes it’s gone. The perps are then arrested. Let’s try the same approach with a fancy bike and call it “Bait Bike.” All that is needed is a fancy bike and a Neptune officer. After a few arrests, bikes will again be safe in “God’s 3/4 Square Mile.”
Charles, are you really sure you want a 51st-and-Pine-type home invasion or car ambush over a fake UPS box of dirty kitty litter?